Monday, May 29, 2006

$600 and all i got was this crappy tiara


I just came back from my obligatory stagette-hosting weekend in another province. Yes, that's right - i am a bridesmaid, complete with celery-green dress and all the glorious details that go with it- and, as the "official" maid of honor just had a kid two weeks ago, as sister-of-the-groom, i have to take on the unoffical maid of honor duties, including flying to another province to host the last big fling. Please remind me NEVER to have organized fun with a bunch of married girls EVER again. shit. Trying to make them loosen up was like trying to convince a nun to visit a sex store to help pick out a new vibrator.... IMPOSSIBLE. After plying them all with copious amounts of booze and then shaming them into it ("It's really unfortunate that you have become so fucking boring since you got married" - i don't piss around with what i want to say), i finally got them into the spirit of things...for a few hours. I even got them to dress up in tiaras and sashes and referred to them all as "Miss Teen [insert small town name here] 1989 and made them sing bad karaoke. I should have known what i was up against right from the beginning - the fact that i missed my flight out of halifax airport on friday morning and had to shell out $212 to buy a brand new ticket should have been an indication of impending disaster. oh well.

The whole thing was something of a learning experience though. I wonder what the percentage is of former wild women who became lame within one year of being married? I know it is a stereotype, blah, blah, blah, but i felt like i was in the middle of a bad sociology experiment nightmare. Kind of like The Stepford Wives - but these girls were going into it willingly. As far as i know, there is nobody killing them off and replacing them with android "new and improved" versions of their former selves.
I'm back now and what a fanfuckingtastic day to be back. It was so balmy here when i got off the plane, i was almost feeling comfortable with the fact that i spent enough money on that damned hen party to take myself on a little tropical vacation. On the plane back, i was actually dreaming about it - someplace hot and sunny, where i could drink mojitos and lay around on a topless beach...sigh. However, today held some promise. The other Petticoat and i took a stroll downtown to look at the mummy exhibit (only there 'til sunday - better do it while you can!) and there was something really sultry about the breeze on my bare skin. We were both feeling rather languid, in fact. i think a steamy summer might be in my future after all...

Today's picture has nothing to do with the text, but i was tired of presenting our readers with found-on-the-internet photos. And, my new bra is just too cute - it deserves to be shown off. happy monday. xoxox the SSPs

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