Sunday, July 16, 2006

aw shucks...

Do you know what i really find to be a curious (for lack of a better word...perhaps instead i could substitute puzzling or even perplexing) idea? The notion that one can proclaim themselves (or be proclaimed by another) as "good in bed". I think really that can only be determined on a case by case basis. In a longer-term sexual relationship (let's define longer term as a situation on which 2 individuals have repeated sexual encounters over any period of time longer than a weekend), there are ups and there are downs. Sometimes that sex will be fabulous and other times, it will be lame (and yes, lame sex does exist - i've already debunked the "sex is like pizza" theory on a previous posting, but for those of you who haven't been following, i'll reiterate: many years ago, a friend of mine, in trying to convince me to sleep with him (my excuse was that if i was bad in bed, our friendship would never be the same again), said; "Sex is like pizza - even when it is bad, its still good." LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE! Bad sex is when the sex is boring, when i'm so disinterested that i can't even focus myself enough to orgasm, because i'm too busy wondering when it will be over so that i can change the laundry in the washer over to the dryer, or what i'm going to eat for breakfast the next day, etc. ..... bit of a tangent there, but i wanted to ensure that we were all on the same page, more or less. Where was i? oh! right....longer term sexual relationships. So, if you get to sleep with someone on a regular basis, you can decide if they are "good in bed" - for you. Someone can be good in bed for one person, but not at all for someone else. At least if it is an ongoing thing, variables that might affect a person's...ahem..performance..can be taken into consideration.

I've certainly had my share of less-then-stellar sexual performances for one reason or another. I was in a relationship that should have ended a year before it did, and by the end of it, i practically hated him, thus the sex was so horrific, that i pretty much lost my taste for, as it were. I compared it drinking too much of a specific type of alcohol and getting violently ill from it, thus never, ever being able to drink it again without feeling nauseous. For me, it was tequila. One silly night in my early 20s, trying to prove that i wasn't a "girly girl", i took on a dare, involving straight-up shots of tequila (no lemon, no salt, no chasers). I threw up for 3 days afterwards, lost my boyfriend of the time (by telling him off repeated in a tequila -induced slur when he suggested that i might want to get in a cab and go home - "You do'n own me, ya basthard...d'ya thinkya own me?") but did actually date the other participant in the tequila shooting contest for a brief period shortly thereafter...
I was a bartender all through university and everytime i had to pour a shot of tequila, or make a margarita, i nearly 'chucked. And that, my friends, is how i was feeling about heading back out into the sexual world - until fairly recently...several months back...in fact, shortly after we started writing this bloggery. I guess that is more evidence for my realisation of my exhibitionist tendencies.

I used to think i was "good in bed" - i had certainly had some pretty hot sex over the years. But the last little while, i had started to question that claim. Now, however, i feel as though i can say, with cetainty, that i am good in bed...or at least i was this weekend. At least that's what i've been told....aw shucks! i'm blushing!

4 comments:

The Slipshod Petticoats said...

i know i was talking in circles a bit on this one - forgive me...i was feeling a little hot and bothered...

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