WANTED: muse

So, it appears that Spring is finally upon us. All that ranting and raving i did a few months back about the need for warmer weather and mud and sex el fresco - it seems that it is coming our way. Well, my way, at least....i don't know what the rest of you are doing with these last 2 beautiful spring Nova Scotia days, but i was parked happily in the Commons, reading a book under a large brimmed hat (serves several purposes: keeps the sun off my delicate irish complexion, keeps the shadows on the printed page to a minimum and lastly, but by no means least, it allows me to observe the passers-by, without being too obvious), and digging my little toes into the fresh spring grass..and dirt..but i like dirt when it has the fresh, post-rain smell. It seems that all i was wishing for back in the days of "sexy sounds for a slippery day" is finally coming my way - more or less. I know, i know, you must be reading this and thinking "what a fucking complainer she is - all that shit that she was whining about awhile back is sorting itself out, and she is still dissatisfied!" Oh please, gentle reader, that is the absolute last thing i'd want you to think about me! I'm not displeased with life as it has presented itself as of late - i just have a certain yearning for something that i can't quite identify. Something that cannot be fulfilled in the usual, mundane ways - buying a new book or CD, eating sushi, drinking a pint of raspberry wheat ale...no, no, no - soemthing is missing. I just can't put my finger on it though - maybe somebody else needs to put their finger on it (tee hee).

Perhaps i should just take my own advice from several postings back - the hula hoop and fellatio one - and just take my hula hoop, get out there on the sidewalk and just really work my hips 'til i am tired and sore and spent and have no wiggle left in me. But i really do like a captive and captivated audience - not just passing traffic. I like the attention - i guess maybe, just maybe, perhaps, i am a teensy bit of an exhibitionist. But then again, I think many people are, and just don't realize it yet. I think that the little frisson of pleasure that is derived from knowing you are being watched is highly under-rated. And i bet you think so too - but just don't want to admit it. We are such a funny bunch, the human race. We don't like to own up to much, do we? I'm going to own up to my exhibitionism RIGHT NOW! Confession time:
Since moving to a different province (this province) 5 or 6 years ago, i have only ever owned sheer curtains...and....i don't close them. ever. not even when i have just come back into my room from getting a bath, and i drop the towel to get dressed.

So there.

Well, i feel slightly better now. a little bit dirtier - but in the right way. But something is still missing. Inspiration is alluding me. i need a muse. i need to be inspired. i'm just not quite my naughty self. i'm feeling unusually PURE. Perhaps it is my new surroundings. The SSPs have just taken up residence in a new place and my bedroom is looking disturbingly Jane Austenesque. White, bright, girly.. I'm not sure what to do about it. Maybe i need a disco ball and a red light and some bordeaux coloured boudoir curtains surrounding my bed..... something needs to be done before i regress back into my former pristine, virginal self. I'm open to suggestions...