Wednesday, February 08, 2006

confessions of a reformed catholic schoolgirl..

...make sure you read that title properly, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE! (i have never been entirely certain of the identity of "pete" in this particular expression which was a favorite of my late great Aunt Kitty, but I suppose it isn't relevant). The title is "reformed catholic schoolgirl" NOT "catholic reform-school girl" - okay? Just want to make sure we're all at the same place before I begin.

Wednesday seems to be a good day to cleanse my soul. I have all kinds of dirty little secrets that I have not been sharing with you. The weekend fast approaches and since the "sinning and gin-ing" will begin again, i should use this opportunity to come clean, so I can get all dirty again. By the way, do you mind terribly if I don't capitalize my "I"s anymore? I know its just sooooooo e.e.cummings of me, but i am not a great typist and it is an effort that i feel should only be made at the commencement of a new sentence. Good, i didn't think you'd mind(side bar of apologies to devout e.e. cummings fans: i'm not insinuating that good ol' e.e. was lazy, it was just a little allusion - don't be so fucking touchy about everything!).
The first thing i need to say is that i have a sick, sick, love for president's choice white cheddar macaroni and cheese. I am so ashamed of myself, but alas, it is true. Tonight,i considered making nori rolls with avocado and cucumber for supper, but then my eyes lit upon the familiar black and red box (horrendous packaging) and i caved...yet again.
Carrying on with extremely important things that i need to share with any random people that stumble across this site:
Have you ever read any Anais Nin? No? Well, you should. I do. All the time. Bedtime reading at it's very finest. Props are not required for a fun time - IF you are extremely imaginative. If however, you would put your self in the under-achiever category when it comes to creative sexuality, might I suggest a vibrator or other such battery operated device for full enjoyment of such literature as Anais? (Yes, yes, i know that some of you have others at home who could serve this purpose, but I have never been a read-aloud kind of gal...i blush too easily and i don't think blushing and bashfulness are hot). Now that we are talking about battery operated devices, keep in mind that if you have a roommate or housemate, etc., that maybe fresh batteries should be used in your discperson or any other battery-operated non-sexual device for a day or so - just long enough to take the edge of the batteries, or else the um, humming might be something of a dull roar, and thus an audible distraction to said roommate.

While we are on the topic of hot lit - and i think we might stay here for a little while - it seems that there is lots to say for now), after you are finished here, you might want to click on over to: and from there, check out the column on the left for You can thank me later. But not yet! I 'm not done! Have some manners, for goodness sake! This might be vital information (or not, but can you really risk it?)

Currently, i am reading The Fermata by Nicholson Baker and i think you might like it. It is not quite as steamy as his earlier Vox, but i'm enjoying myself. Where was i? Ohhhhhh...confessions. I guess the mac and cheese thing wasn't all that steamy, but i can do better. How 'bout this one: i had a really inappropriate sex dream recently about my boss (no, not THAT kind of boss - i'm the boss of me in THOSE situations..i'm talking about work - the real-world boring kind). In my dream, he came up behind in the guise of having a normal conversation, gripped my shoulders and pressed himself against me..and (ew! ew! ew!) HE HAD A SERIOUS ERECTION! Yes! I was reallllllllyyyyyyyyyy grossed out! I felt filthy for some unknown reason when i woke up the next day, and when i figured out why, i hopped in the shower and scrubbed - hard. Which is really saying something, because i am not generally an especially clean person. I mean, i like a bath as much as the next person, but showers? Not so much. And in the morning? No thanks.
A long, long time ago, i was talking to my then (older and therefore supposedly wiser) boyfriend and mentioned that i had to get off the phone because i needed to get in the shower. He asked "But didn't you already get a shower today?", to which i replied in the affirmative. He said "You know what they say about people who are too clean....". I, in my innocent 16 year-oldism didn't. He explained that "they" say that people who are excessively clean are afraid of sex. Well, i couldn't have people thinking that about me, now could i? Hence, my arrival, many years later at the non-morning shower stage of my life. Hangovers mean all bets are off. Everything is different when hungover and normal habits go out the window. I don't even drink coffee when i'm hungover. But, i do shower.

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