Monday, February 06, 2006

theories that i have found to be true and highly applicable


I am fully aware that I'm diving into this particular missive without consulting my other half of this joint-bloggery venture (see previous posting for the hatching of that term), and also that it isn't directly related to our mandate of mild-naughtiness (in an erotic sense, of course), but, I feel that this particular thought needs to get out there, and really, isn't that what blogs are for? Prior to starting, I think I need to express my dislike for the word "blog". ew. It conjures up nasty, fecal-like images that I don't care to think about. But "bloggery" is fine. So, I've decided that hereafter, "bloggery" will replace "blog" whenever such a term is needed. Are you sitting comfortably? Then let's begin....

While sitting at Tom's Little Havana on Saturday evening, I shared the "pig/rat" theory with a friend of mine. For those who are not familiar with it, it goes like this:
Society at large can be broken down into 2 physical categories...that is, you look like either a pig, or a rat. Nobody can be insulted here, as neither animal has especially desirable physical traits. It is nothing like that bullshit, lame-ass question people who are attempting to be "deep" ask others "If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be and why?" and then equally lame people say things like "I'd be a deer because they are quick and graceful." or "I'd be a puma, becasue they are sleek and sexy." NO! No my friend, not a deer nor puma would you be. You would be a pig, or a rat, depending on your facial features. Give it a whirl the next time you are sitting in a public place at a good vantage point for observation - preferably with a camrade of an equally delicious sense of humour (god, i hate boring people, don't you?) .I think the nose has alot to do with it, while my drinking companion from Saturday begs to differ. He feels, quite strongly, that it has more to do with one's cheeks. He has an addition to the theory, that being that pigs are attracted to pigs and rats are attracted to rats. I'm not too sure what to make of this, because all of my past boyfriends have been pigs and rats, or even both at the same time - and there have been a few real dogs in there as well, not to mention all the asses (as in donkey - do I have to explain EVERYTHING to you??) - i just love animal metaphor. I guess I should continue with my clarification and say that my red wine-drinking friend also meant facial cheeks, not bum cheeks..oh, sorry, your mind was not in the gutter, dear reader, just mine. Speaking of bums, well, we weren't, but now are (wasn't that a terribly clever segway on my part?)...

This bloggery (if you are experiencing grammatical issues, please refer to the above previously given explanation) is going to use underthings as a starting point of sorts to explore various elements of society. Just our immediate society, of course, I'm not talking about the world in general. This isn't someone's f'ing social anthropology thesis, just a bloggery (I said "f'ing" there to be polite, but am changing my mind, I actually meant "fucking social anthropology thesis" - I am an extremely polite person in reality, but am letting all go to hell here in the bloggery world). Where was I? Oh yes, bums. I think it is a topic fully worth exploring. I think maybe that is why I like nectarines so much - eating one is like biting into a plump, smooth bottom. mmmmmm. With that, I'll sign off for the evening, but I'll leave you with the following thought:
This is only Monday. Monday is among the least entertaining days of the week. Please tune in sometime after Friday, because things are going to get a little bit steamier - I promise.....




No comments: